Disappointment occurs when reality doesn’t meet expectations.  Perhaps a family member, friend, or colleague did not behave the way they were expected.  Maybe money did not arrive when it was supposed to.  Perhaps you didn’t get the promotion that you went after.  Maybe your team fell short of a performance goal.  Perhaps your marketing campaign did not generate new customers.  The list could go on and on.  Disappointments can happen anytime and they can happen often.  How do you deal with disappointment so that you do not become discouraged or give up?  Here are a few ways you can deal with the disappointment in your life:

1. Evaluate your expectations.  Were your expectations reasonably optimistic?  We can set ourselves up by setting unrealistic expectations.  For example, expecting a client to pay an invoice immediately upon receipt when the terms are Net 30 can set you up for disappointment.
2. Communicate your disappointment.  When people disappoint us, they do not always realize that they have failed to meet our expectations.  Share your feelings of disappointment and commit to communicating your expectations more clearly in the future.
3. Focus on what you can control.  Let go of what you don’t control.  For example, an impending storm that causes an important meeting to be cancelled is beyond anyone’s control.  Acknowledge that there was nothing that anyone could have done that would have changed the outcome of the situation. 
4. Look for the positive.  Even in the midst of disappointment, there are often bright spots that can be identified.  Focus on what is going right rather than what went wrong.
5. Grow.  Is there something that you could have done that would have resulted in a more positive outcome?  For example, did you get looked over for the promotion because you were lacking in certain skills?  Improving our skills and striving to grow can improve performance in the future.  

Disappointment is a part of life.  How we handle disappointment when it happens to us determines our success and happiness.

The end of every quarter of the calendar year is an excellent time to reflect upon current performance.  This reflection is critical in order to meet or exceed the year’s goals.  When this reflection is done after the first quarter, there is still ample time to accomplish the goals that were set for the year.  Here are some steps that you can use to complete the reflection process:

Step 1:  Identify the goals that you set for the year.  Hopefully, you set between one and three key goals for the year.  These goals and their associated action plans should be guiding your actions and decisions.  It is easier to track the progress of these goals if they are written as SMART goals.  If you set goals but did not ensure they were written as SMART goals, tackle that first.

Step 2:  Determine how much progress you should have made.  Many goals are measured by where you should be at the end of the year, but what does progress look like in April? July? October?  Break your overall goal into milestones for the four quarters of the year.  For example, if you were aiming for increasing the dollar amount of your sales by 10% by the end of the year, you should expect to increase sales by 2-3% each quarter to meet that goal.

Step 3:  Identify whether you did not meet, met, or exceeded your milestones.  If you met your milestones, great job!  Keep doing what you’re doing!  If you did not meet your milestones, it is time to revisit your action plan.  Are you doing what you said you were going to do to meet the goal?  Are the action steps that you identified working?  This is an opportunity to research, regroup, and reorganize your action plan.  If you have exceeded your milestones, you may want to reevaluate your goal to see if you were setting the bar too low.  Don’t limit yourself by your goal—you can keep pushing to the next level!

Step 4:  Define next steps.  At this stage, you have to decide if you need to revise your goal, revise your plan, or go back to the drawing board.  You may have found that the goal that you set for the year is no longer appropriate based on newly identified needs or opportunities.  For example, if you set a goal to secure a certain number of new clients, but new opportunities have enabled you to offer a greater array of services to existing clients, you may change your focus.  Use discretion when changing or abandoning goals and certainly don’t give up on a goal because you didn’t make the progress that you thought you would make during a certain time period.

Goal-setting and attainment is the heart of success.  Mastering this process will ensure that your business is profitable and sustainable.  As you practice this process, you may find these other blog posts helpful:
 
How to Make Goals Stick
Bouncing Back After Defeat

If you would like support in identifying the needs for your business and how to set goals that will address those needs, contact me for a free consultation!

Have you ever felt like you end up in the same situation over and over again?  Maybe you find yourself in a job that seems is going to end in your termination.  Or maybe you discover that the problems in your new relationship are identical to your past relationship problems.  In our personal and professional life, if we don’t learn the lesson that we’re supposed to, we may find ourselves repeating the same scenario until we do.  Learning a lesson results in growth and change on our part.  In order to understand a lesson, we have to go through the process of the pain, experience, learning, and growth.  If you skip the process, then the experience was not beneficial for your professional or personal growth, and you will find yourself in the same situation, just in a different location with different people. 

How do you know you have skipped the process?

1. You blame others.  If you point the finger at the other person or persons for the reason you experienced pain, difficulty, or stress, you probably have skipped the process.  No matter how badly we have been treated, it is likely that we could have improved in our response to the situation in some way or even avoided the situation altogether.  When we have a negative experience, we have to understand the role that we played and be able to reflect on how we can handle the situation differently should it occur again.  A person who does not believe they have done anything wrong will never change.
2. You’re still angry.  When you have experienced growth and healing from a situation, you release feelings of bitterness, resentment, and anger.  If you are still angry about how the situation played out or how a person treated you, you are not over it.  If you were to be in a similar situation in the future, not only will you have difficulty addressing it effectively, but it will trigger past feelings of hurt and resentment that may make the situation worse.
3. You run in the opposite direction.  When some people have a negative experience, they may find themselves going to extremes to avoid a similar situation.  Some may make a drastic career change.  Others may date someone who is the opposite of the significant other that hurt them.  These are avoidance behaviors.  Instead of addressing how or why a situation went wrong, you attempt to avoid the situation completely.

It can be difficult to go through the process of learning a lesson, but skipping the process results in more damage in the long run.  How can you make sure that you are not skipping the process?

1. Face the situation.
2. Reflect on the situation.  Examine the situation from all perspectives, not just your own.
3. Identify the lesson or lessons to be learned.
4. Seek advice from a mature person that is not involved in the situation and be open to their insight.
5. Accept responsibility for your actions and determine what you could have done differently.
6. Make amends with the person or persons involved in the situation.

Most of the growth that we experience is the result of life lessons.  If we skip the process of learning lessons in life, we will find ourselves growing older but never growing up.
 

You have put in the time.  You believe that you’re good at your job.  People around you are moving up, yet you keep getting passed up for promotions.  Perhaps you ask yourself, why am I constantly overlooked?

Managers and leaders look for a variety of qualities and qualifications when it is time to promote from within the organization.  If you are consistently passed up for promotions, it may be for one of these five reasons:

1. Negative versus Visionary.  Leaders lead their teams through vision and influence.  They are true visionaries, people who can see potential and what can be, even if the vision is far from the present reality.  In contrast, negative employees only see problems and find it difficult to envision a team, department, or organization beyond its current state.  Many negative people describe themselves as “problem-solvers” and believe this is a positive quality.  However, a focus on only problems that require solutions indicates that a person may not be ready to step into leadership.  An employee with a negative attitude will not likely be promoted.
2. I or We.  Leaders understand that it takes a team to get things done, but that there are times when it is necessary to highlight their own accomplishments as an individual.  Collaboration is a positive quality, but “We” thinkers blend in with the crowd and their successes and accomplishments cannot be distinguished from those of the rest of the team.  “I” thinkers credit team members when appropriate, but also know how to call attention to their individual contributions.  An employee ready for a leadership position knows when to credit the team and when to credit self.  Managers and leaders promote individuals, not teams.  Do not be so humble that you keep getting passed up and overlooked.
3. Always winning and Growth.  An employee who is always winning or being successful will likely believe that they are good at their job and are probably correct in assuming so.  Often, jobs become routine and experience in that job makes it easier to perform those duties.  This type of work performance shows a manager or leader that the employee is great in their current position but does not give the leader any indication of how the employee would perform in a higher position with different duties and responsibilities.  An employee with a growth mindset will take on projects and capitalize on opportunities to grow and develop additional skills within the organization, even if it means they are not successful each time.  An employee seeking a leadership position will not just do the job that is comfortable, but will also seek ways to demonstrate critical thinking skills and resourcefulness.
4. Passive versus Ambitious.  Passive employees expect for mangers and leaders to take notice of them and offer a promotion or salary increase.  They believe that by doing their job well, people will notice them and want to promote them.  This is not necessarily true.  Ambitious employees understand that it is helpful to express the desire to move up to leadership so that leaders can take notice of their performance.  Ambitious employees seek feedback from supervisors, find opportunities to shadow employees that are in the position that they are seeking, or acquire additional training or certifications that will prepare them for the next level.
5. Where are the soft skills?   Being good at a job does not equate to having the skill set necessary to be promoted.  A task-oriented person often gets the job done, but does not always demonstrate whether they would be successful in taking on more responsibility and leading others. Managers and leaders look for soft skills that will contribute to effective leadership.  These skills include collaborating with others, time management, critical thinking, a strong work ethic, effective communication verbally and in writing, positive attitude, self-confidence, flexibility, working well under pressure, and many others. 

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If you believe you have been passed up for promotions or other leadership opportunities, reflect on your performance before getting frustrated with leadership.  It is possible that you have not demonstrated your readiness for promotion as well as you believe you have.  Don’t be afraid to ask your hiring manager what you could do differently or better in order to be promoted and receive their feedback with a positive attitude.

We have a tendency to romantacize the past, especially when our present isn't ideal.  Some people believe that their high school days were their best ever or that college was the best time of their life.  Others long for past loves or mourn over material things that they have lost along the way.  It can be tempting to try and recreate the past as a solution to a present slump.  There's a saying that you can never step into the same river twice.  That's because the water is always moving and changing the river so that, even if you returned to the exact same spot where you once stood, the river is still not the same.  The river has changed and so have you.

We have to be careful not to spend to much time looking backwards and keep moving forward, no matter how wonderful the past used to be.  A mindset of a true visionary is that your best days are yet to come!  This means that we often have to let go of strategies and systems that no longer meet the needs of us, our businesses, or our teams.  Saying, "Well, that's how we have always done it" is an excuse for a lack of innovation, creativity, and efficiency.  Instead, practice the strategy of continuous improvement.  A true leader is a life-long learner that is willing to re-assess, re-focus, and re-strategize!

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you determine how to keep moving forward:

1. How have I changed in the past year?
2. How has my team changed in the past year?
3. How have my goals changed in the past year?
4. What is working?  What's not working?
5. What can I do to be more efficient?
6. What can I do to help my team grow?
7. What have I read or learned in the past month that can help me to lead my team?

If you would like help or support in implementing a process of continuous improvement for yourself or with your team, give me a call!

Reflection is a precursor to growth.  It's nearly impossible to move forward when you do not know where you have been.  The end of the year is a great time to pause and reflect on how you have grown and performed over the last calendar year.  Before developing new goals and resolutions for the upcoming year, pause and think about your journey. 

Here are a few questions that you can ask yourself:

1. Have I accomplished the goals that I set for this year?  If so, what worked?  If not, why not?
2. Am I pleased with where I am at the conclusion of this year?  If not, what do I wish was different?  Was it within my power to make it different?
3. What worked for me this year?
4. What did not work for me this year?
5. What were unexpected surprises that affected my performance this year, good or bad?
6. Who has supported my progress this year?
7. Who has hindered my progress this year?
8. What good habits did I develop this year?
9. What bad habits did I develop this year?
10. Do I feel successful this year?  If so, what made me successful? If not, why not?

Practicing the process of reflection will lay the foundation for your goal-setting.  Those who do not identify and recognize their mistakes are doomed to repeat them.  Similarly, if you do not know your own recipe for success, it will make it more difficult to replicate that success.  Do not skip the reflection process--it will provide you with the growth that you need to make incredible progress next year!