Breaking up is Hard to Do: How to End a Mentoring Relationship

There’s a saying that all good things must come to an end.  There is some truth to this, even when it comes to our mentoring relationships.  Despite how beneficial your mentoring relationship has been or how close you have grown to your mentor, it is inevitable that you will outgrow your mentor at some point.  After all, the ultimate goal of mentorship is to grow you professionally. 
How do you know it’s time to end your mentoring relationship?  Here are a few signs:

• You have reached the goals that you originally set with your mentor.
• You have surpassed your mentor’s position or status.
• You no longer feel that the counsel or advice that your mentor offers is beneficial, relevant, or constructive.
• You have less desire to communicate with your mentor.
• Your mentor admits that they no longer know how they can best serve you.

Once you have determined that it is time to end your relationship with your mentor, plan your course of action.  Here are a few tips for ending your mentoring relationship:

• Communicate!  Schedule a time to talk in person or on the phone.
• Let your mentor know how much you have benefitted from the relationship and that you are ready to move forward to the next stage of your career journey.
• Thank your mentor for their support, advice, and encouragement throughout the relationship. 
• Be open to evolving the relationship.  Depending on the nature of your relationship with the other person prior to mentoring, you may want to maintain a relationship with the person, but in a different way.  They may remain a friend or a colleague that you continue to associate with and network with.

After ending your mentoring relationship, your next step is to find a new mentor!  Each level of your career is going to require something different from you.  Find a mentor that will meet your needs for succeeding at that career level.  As you move up, you also have the opportunity to mentor others.  Mentorship is a cyclical process in which leaders can grow one another to achieve success.